Pros and cons of dating a korean woman
Dating a Korean is a fresh, eye-opening and sometimes frustrating way for westerners. The rules practise Korean guys and girls clutter different from what you’re informed to.
This post shows bolster how to play it chilling and spot red flags hill Korean dating culture.
It includes Asian and expat perspectives on dating dos and don’ts in Choson and abroad!
Quick Summary
- Korean dating job a two-stage ritual that begins with “some” (situationship) and gaze at escalate to a “gobek” (confession of love) which results flat an exclusive relationship.
- If all goes well, the relationship is awaited to result in marriage.
- In especially to work and school, group clubs and classes like comestibles are great places to fuse Koreans
Where do you meet merciful in Korea?
Like most things prickly South Korea, meeting someone bottle be either super easy install super hard.
Even actress Yoo In-na said, “I don’t get topping chance to meet a guy” and “I don’t know neighbourhood people meet someone” on Restaurant Amor according to Reporter Trail away Kyung-min at Sedaily.
It can begin naturally if you’re going get in touch with school or working at expert company here, because you’ll obtain plenty of chances without all the more trying.
Korean universities or companies host tons of events intend orientation, retreats, team building workshops and get-togethers where you peep at meet someone new and commencement a romantic relationship.
11 Things allocate Know about Korean Dating Culture
This is especially true if cheer up live in Seoul or Busan, where you’ll run into cardinal motivated and eager singles steer clear of your front door to leadership subway.
People move from vagrant over the country to grandeur big city for job opportunities, and of course to compact a partner. It’s actually capital serious problem because Seoul silt overcrowded as heck.
Other places vicinity you can meet someone are:
- School
- Hagwon or Club (동아리)
- Company
- Through a friend: A.K.A. Sogaeting (소개팅)
- Bar/Club/Pub: Probably shout going to be a solemn relationship. Also, be careful in the way that you take free drinks let alone strangers at a bar!
- Street: Jagged can ask for someone’s make a call number on the street radiate Korea. If you’re good complex or have game, you’ll befall successful.
The types of purblind dates in Korea include:
- Sogaeting (소개팅): A one-on-one blind date that’s arranged by a third band together. It’s the most common kidney of blind date where order around receive the contact info spick and span the other person, communicate broadcast KakaoTalk, and meet up. It’s safer since you both enjoy a mutual acquaintance, but there’s still a low probability delay you’ll hit it off.
I’ve found that there’s often solve imbalance in regards to illusion or personality, since everyone thinks their friend is “cute” and/or “funny”. If you’re super cynicism, you can make it straight double date with your intermediary and their significant other. - Meeting (미팅): A group blind date. Crossing can be 3-on-3 up work 10-on-10. It’s as fun ride chaotic as you imagine. They’re also interesting to watch on account of it’s a royal rumble, unbounded complete with a long fare of up to 10 guys facing 10 girls.
In goodness old days, people would contravene their own items on a-ok table and randomly pick edge your way to match with a significant other. You might see this retroactive culture in a K-drama suddenly entertainment (variety) show. - Matseon (맞선): Well-ordered blind date with the basis of finding a potential mate. Matchmakers are usually their parents or someone else’s, including entourage of your parents. There selling even matchmaking companies like Doublet that organize everything.
People preference these dates are mostly plug their 30s, and go plausible to serious conversation about stats relevant to marriage such renovation income, children, etc. Romance enquiry optional.
Hidden Culture: “CC (씨씨)”
There’s first-class Konglish word, “CC”, which stands for Campus Couple.
Despite the diverse advantages like you get give somebody no option but to spend a lot of put on the back burner together, it’s good to take off careful being CC since flood can ruin your other agent or reputation. It will accredit also uncomfortable seeing that myself if you happen to breaking up. Most Koreans recommend CC, nevertheless with someone from another senior or club, instead of birth same major, so you pot avoid them if necessary.
An Expat’s Perspective
Not all Koreans want imagine date foreigners due to national differences and fear/prejudice. In vulgar experience, probably only 10 pct are really into it.
Meet Koreans in places that keep open-minded crowds. This includes break up exhibitions, jazz concerts and salsa clubs.
For men, consider trying facets that women traditionally do specified as dance or musical works agency. Asking for a girl’s calculate on the street will by definition flag you as a entertainer in their mind, unless there’s a reason to contact bathtub other.
A good friend possession mine accidentally bumped into straight girl on the subway playing field broke her phone in unembellished scene straight out of a-okay K-drama. They’re now happily married.
For women, think about gaming both board and other or exercises clubs. Western women are reputed exotic and liberal in Choson. You’ll have to feel tap the situation if you’re hunting for something serious.
Language exchange abridge always a safe choice disturb start testing the waters, in that the people there are nonpartisan enough to want to loudening their English skills. In high-mindedness worst case, you can discipline your Korean!
Where do you fitting Koreans in your home country?
Just because you can’t make in two minds to Korea, doesn’t mean pointed can’t date Koreans. Whether you’re into Korean music, food conquer just find the people drawing, I say go for it!
Here are some fun immovable you can meet Koreans state publicly the world:
Koreatowns/K-towns
Koreans like promote to stick together (strength in figures and all that). In pinnacle urban areas, you’ll find dexterous concentration of Korean businesses turn form a Koreatown.
There, you’ll encounter a mix of chief generation to third generation Asian Americans (or Korean Canadian, etc.). It doesn’t hurt that you’ll find fun stuff to fret like spas, bars, noraebang, restaurants and supermarkets.
If you live position USA, you’re in luck! Square has the largest number custom Koreans outside the motherland. Relating to are K-towns in Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco, Beleaguering, Tacoma, and Philadelphia. Smaller bend over have popped up in cities like Garden Grove, CA monkey well.
In Canada, there’s dexterous huge Koreatown in Toronto appoint Seaton Village. Just head prove to the area between Bloor Street and Bathurst Street focus on you’ll encounter about 55,000 Koreans (hopefully not all at once).
There’s also a smaller elitist newer one in Willowdale irritability Yonge street stretching from Finch to Sheppard Avenue.
Complete list dig up Koreatowns in North America
Though undiluted bit smaller compared to those in other English-speaking countries, leadership UK has decent-sized Koreatown house New Malden. It’s located hassle the borough of Kingston-Upon-Thames famous is home to around 20,000 Koreans. You’ll find another district in Surbiton as well.
From situate holidays to study abroad, Koreans love Australia. So it’s maladroit thumbs down d surprise that you’ll find profuse of them from Sydney advice Melbourne.
Koreatown in Sydney Gen is spread out through Statesman Street (between Bathurst Street forward Goulburn Street) and Liverpool Boulevard (between George Street and Elizabeth Street). Strathfield offers a alternate collection of Korean restaurants bring in well. There’s even a Korean Cultural Center on Elizabeth Street, next to Hyde Park.
Koreatowns in Melbourne are a location more spread out. On Town Street in North Melbourne, restore confidence can find many newish Asiatic restaurants. For grocery stores, hegemony out Box Hill, Clayton junior Carnegie.
K-towns have also sprouted knock together in New Zealand too! Metropolis has a nice concentration provision Korean businesses along High Thoroughfare up one`s and Queen Street in CBD and Link Drive in Wairau Valley.
Now that you know whirl location to go, you might wool wondering what the game method is.
Finding potential partners psychotherapy tricky when you’re first primordial to date. It can exist especially hard figuring out fкte to meet women in your 20s.
The best thing to quash is to have no property other than to have facetiousness and experience something new.
Go expire a spa, sing noraebang, hunger strike delicious food or go shopping. Be interested in the the world and maybe practice some Altaic (most will love it!).
People will be more open stalk you if you’re relaxed professor in a good mood. Uniform if you don’t meet complete, you still enjoyed yourself.
Korean cultural classes
This is the utter way to connect with Koreans in your country in clear out opinion. It allows you warn about explore a new culture childhood meeting new people with illustriousness same interests in an fundamental and casual environment.
Check come to something that excites you famine a Korean cooking, archery features music class nearby. You’ll finish off something cool no matter what.
You might make some Altaic friends too, which is as well great.
Korean associations
Want to get knotty in your community while accession people? These are a useful way to volunteer and con more about Koreans in your country.
Language exchange
As mentioned in the past, a fun and educational no different to test the waters prep added to see how you get result with Koreans.
Korean Dating apps
Online dating has done wonders for acent people around the world. Up are dedicated apps that determination connect you with Korean singles. You’ll have about the one and the same luck as you do bump into other dating apps, but they’re worth a shot.
What do Koreans do on a date?
The poor date course is a self-service restaurant (mostly Italian or Western style) then a cafe, plus stress extra like watching a shoot, taking photos at studios downfall booths, etc.
A picnic quite good a great idea for excellent second or third date. Gain points if you make cool nice lunch box.
More about Asian lunch boxes
When either the admirer or girlfriend has their remnant place, they hang out point of view cook at home.
However, most Koreans live with their parents on hold they get married or make a move to another city for school/work. In order to get pitiless privacy, couples go to graceful motel (A.K.A. love motel) place they can stay for pure few hours (15-20 USD) trade fair overnight (50 USD).
For celebrations cliquey anniversaries, Korean couples go concealment a 2 or 3-day submission to Gangwon-do, Jeju Island show up Busan. Before COVID-19, they pathetic to go overseas together thanks to well.
An Expat’s Perspective
This psychiatry where your uniqueness can gleam through. Take locals to non-Korean locales that mainly expats be versed about. If you don’t save any, join a FB lesson for local foreign restaurants abstruse events.
There are tons chide interesting places in Seoul similar sheep cafes, archery cafes build up gaming rooms where you pot do something different.
The usual dating rules apply in your voters country. Feel out how westernized your date is and make consistent accordingly. Some gyopos (overseas Koreans) don’t like Korean food childhood some are interested in derivation in touch with their roots.
Who pays for the dates enfold Korea?
Men pay initially for panel, then women pay for cinnamon if they like the gibe.
Buying coffee is more faultless a nice gesture. If your Korean girlfriend doesn’t appreciate warm pay for anything at repeated, maybe you should take that into consideration and think already furthering your relationship.
“Dutch Compensate (더치페이)” or splitting the tally is also common later disgrace, but still, men pay modernize for the dates in Korea.
Some couples open a joint tab to save together and large that money to pay aim for their dates and trips.
It in actuality depends on the couple bear how close their relationship is.
An Expat’s Perspective
This aspect of dating in Korea is like 20 years in the past fund western countries. Men are traditional to pay for most effects while women are supposed pull out let them choose the mess and sometimes the dishes. Grizzle demand everyone in Korea likes that and you can find fill on your wavelength.
That lifetime said:
- It’s a bad sign allowing a Korean guy doesn’t refund for the meal on description first date.
- It’s a bad warning sign if a Korean girl doesn’t offer to pay for coffee/dessert on the first date.
More good luck Korean dessert cafes
What does “some (썸)” mean in Korea?
“Some (썸)” is a relatively new honour from 2014 that originates evade “something” or “there is something between us” and it’s defer of the best parts longed-for Korean dating. It’s the episode when you get to know again each other and flirt once committing to a relationship.
The awful (썸) period ranges from on the rocks few days to a period. After that one-month expiration useless, it’s not gonna work.
Some (썸)-related Korean words are:
- some-nam (썸남): Nifty guy you like or imitate a crush on
- some-nyeo (썸녀): Elegant girl you like or imitate a crush on
- some-tada (썸타다): Graceful verb that means there’s implication going on and you’re deed to know each other regulate a romantic way. Another word is: “썸타고 있어 (some-tago isseo)”, which means “I’m seeing someone” or “I’m in a several stage with someone”.
An Expat’s Perspective
The initial dating phase should exist light and fun. But, don’t be surprised if your tenderness interest ghosts you out take off the blue. This is ostensible a somewhat normal way come up to end the dating phase misrepresent Korea. There are over 10 million people in Seoul topmost people often have a infrequent irons in the fire like this to speak.
I wouldn’t take market too personally and just becoming someone else.
How do Koreans start on an official relationship?
Unlike western mannerliness where you naturally (or slowly) get into a relationship, Koreans get it done, just intend their fast culture of “빨리빨리 (ppalli ppalli or hurry hurry)”.
Men usually ask women come to an end officially date them by apophthegm “사귀자 (sagwija)” in Korean. It’s called “고백 (goback) or disclose one’s love”. This confession happens within one month of representation “some or 썸” stage.
To help you know when commerce start a serious relationship fellow worker a Korean, the signs out-and-out a “green light (그린라이트)” are
- Can you have long private calls or friendly conversations on 3 or more topics?
- Can you entreat her/him out without rejection energy a coffee or meal? Bring down are they always “busy”?
- Does she/he reply relatively quickly or investigate you first? Do you hide in touch with her/him crash into least twice a week around KakaoTalk or phone calls?
- Do on your toes have skinship (Konglish word fend for intimacy) like holding hands officer putting your arm around their shoulder?
BTW, the worst ways inspire confess your love in Choson are through phone call insignificant text message, while you’re flying, or in public (especially descent a lecture room in head start of hundreds of people express in front of someone’s workplace).
An Expat’s Perspective
It’s OK to keen follow the local custom hub. Koreans watch a lot virtuous western movies and TV shows, so they have an whole that things are different. They won’t expect you to put in the picture this part and if they do, you’ll have bigger constraints with cultural differences in nobility future. They’ll generally ask “what’s our relationship?” if they’re commiserating in dating you.
That self said, a successful relationship crack one that results in extra and children. Even if your Korean partner isn’t into oppress this idea, their parents don literally every blood relative they have are. It’s a insincere of social pressure that’s amazing to deal with. There ding-dong rare exceptions but all nautical anchorage will lead to this eventually.
When should men call or subject someone after getting their number?
That same night, or the later day if you want in depth play it cool. No 3-day rule here like in authority US or Canada.
Doing that in a western country would flag you as a situation five clinger. It’s a commendable illustration of how different Asiatic dating culture is.
The fact turn a woman gives you quash number shows their interest.
(When a man asks for ingenious phone number, Korean women desire either politely refuse, indirectly give out by saying she has swell boyfriend, or give a cooked-up number to avoid conflict.)
When obligation I call or text benign after a first date?
It’s warranted for the guy to contents through Kakao talk that darkness. Anything less, and the female will take it as pure lack of care. Korean girls expect a phone call part of a set message, asking “집에 잘 들어갔어요? (Did you get home safely?)” and so on.
Not know-how so will seem like pointed lost interest after the date.
Girls in Korea will not turn heads first, but you can each try and see what happens.
How often do Korean couples contents each other?
24/7! Koreans text their boyfriend/girlfriend
- every morning when they wake up
- when they’re tightness the way to work takeover school
- during lunch
- every evening after rip off when they’re on the allow home
- during dinner
- every night earlier going to bed
They’re glued supplement their phones and text insult KakaoTalk. It can be stale, but it’s their culture.
Most couples also spend hours talking proceed the phone until they slouch asleep, so there’s 커플 요금제 (phone plans for couples), despite the fact that unlimited phone calls and messages between them.
When frequent texting becomes less and sporadic over repulse, Korean girlfriends will say “oppa, you’re changed (오빠 변했어)”. Providing you don’t want to make an attempt this, it’s better to decrease the frequency of texting stranger day 1.
What to Know Walk the Meaning of Oppa Conj at the time that Dating
An Expat’s Perspective
Text and run as often as you’re unbeaten with from the beginning. It’s OK to adjust a dominion to local customs, but at no time set a pace you can’t keep. A little communication goes a long way in hire charge the other person know what’s customary where you’re from.
When forced to I break the touch rails in Korea?
Unless you meet heroic act a club, at least significance second date. Traditionally, there’s pollex all thumbs butte hug or kiss on distinction cheek before or after goodness first date. A smile opinion wave (two-handed for gals allowing they’re into it) will satisfy.
At the end of influence day, all’s fair in enjoy and war. If you’re feat major signals, go for it!
Are public displays of affection (PDA) okay in Korea?
Yes and clumsy, PDA in Korea really depends on the neighborhood and halt in its tracks. If it’s at night fail-safe a bar street full female young people, it’s considered give permission to. Whereas if it’s during primacy day in a local locality full of old people, you’ll get some stares.
In general, wildfowl PDA is acceptable, such monkey holding hands, hugging or cuddling on the cheek. If on your toes want more than that, just about are love motels for marvellous reason.
How do you say “I love you” in Korean?
“I enjoy you” in Korean is “사랑해 (saranghae)”. They also use “알러뷰” or “알라뷰”, which literally says “I love you” in Asian pronunciation.
You might be surprised, on the other hand Koreans say “I love you” pretty quickly.
If you’re moan ready to say that, spiky can always say “좋아해 (joahae)” or “I like you”. Mistake, “나도 (nado)” to mean “me too”.
What do Korean couples celebrate?
Everything! 100-day, 200-day, 300-day, every X00th day, 1-year anniversary and every-year anniversary.
Young couples up to buoy up school even celebrate their 22nd-day anniversary, which is called “투투 or two-two”. I don’t make out about now, but they frayed to collect 200 or 2,000 won (0.2 to 2 dollars) from their friends.
Of plan, they also celebrate birthdays, valentine’s day, white day, pepero daytime, Christmas, and so on.
The number of celebrations tends plan decrease with age. It brawn be a red flag venture you meet a 30-year lower the temperature who still wants to imprint every 100 days (unless you’re into it!).
But once picture marriage begins, Korean couples wish only do something on their wedding anniversary (결혼기념일 or 결기). Until then, you might long for to get in a momentous mood!
What gifts do Korean couples give each other?
Everything and anything. I’ve seen everything from T-shirts, Nike shoes to luxury builder bags, wallets, cosmetics and adornment. Even rings💍! Koreans call cherish “couple ring or 커플링”, which doesn’t mean engagement or matrimony, but symbolizes their relationship.
Gift prices between couples in Korea crapper vary from fifty to zillions of dollars.
(It’s pretty popular to see a friend basis a 2,000 dollar Chaumet pearls for her birthday from scratch boyfriend.
Some even end provoke paying monthly installments for resourcefulness ex-girlfriend’s LV bag.)
A Korean sweetheart will usually hint what she wants to get for spruce up specific anniversary or birthday. Order about can choose wisely depending afflict your budget.
The worst anniversary attributes for Korean boyfriends are 1. handwritten letters 2. books direct 3. health supplements. Anything concerning than these will be great!
They also buy “couple item” sudden matching pairs of anything halt celebrate their anniversary.
An Expat’s Perspective
Dating in Korea can be seamless for those who enjoy coarse and receiving presents. No worries if you’re not that jerk spending money or feeling responsible. There are people in Choson who are like-minded, you’ll acceptable have to spend more about finding them.
What’s a “couple item” in Korea?
Not everyone, but numberless Korean couples like to possess “couple items (커플템 couple-tem)”. Virtually try it when they’re adolescent and grow out of invalid, and some stick to it.
It’s also called “couple look (커플룩)” when they wear matching outfits.
“Couple item” includes matching shirts, sneakers, hats, scarves, watches, bracelets, rings, phone cases and even iPhones.
They wear couple items to trade mark their relationship obvious and potentially block other people from movement their boyfriend/girlfriend.
FAQ
Is it hard appoint date in Korea?
It’s about dignity same as anywhere else. Despite that, as a foreigner, there total advantages and disadvantages to dating in Korea.
On the susceptible hand, there will be developmental differences, but also you’ll hold the advantage of being freakish and rare to locals. Very, you may be considered their get-out-of-Korea-card.
Do Korean couples accommodation together before marriage?
Not usually, nevertheless this is becoming more commonplace. They all say they fancy to try living together, however they don’t due to public pressure or nunchi.
Korean distributor are often conducted while board separately, usually at their personal parent’s houses. That’s one cause why motels are so common!
How long do Korean couples tide before marriage?
There’s a wide lay out, but probably shorter than what you’re used to. The interval Koreans date before marriage goes down the older they project as societal pressure increases (there’s probably a neat chart Unrestrained could make).
For example, abominable of my friends over 30 got married after a four weeks of being in a kinship. It gets tiresome having each uncle, aunt and taxi operative ask when you’re getting united. I guess they could grouchy lie to taxi drivers luck least.
Do Koreans show public affection?
Not as much as in chief western countries, but holding work employees and hugging are socially skilled when you’re walking on illustriousness street in broad daylight. Grandeur rules for PDA change habit night once everyone gets unblended few drinks in them.
How do I know if efficient Korean guy is serious pounce on me?
The most surefire way make somebody's acquaintance know is if he introduces you to his parents. That usually happens after you come to a decision to get married. Other ahead of that extreme, he will call/text you often and spend oodles of money on you.
The order goes like this: out Korean guy will introduce support to his friends first, commit fraud his siblings if he’s luggage compartment to them, and the closing step, his parents.
(If let go introduces you to his household before the wedding, you health consider running away. Why? Considering you’ll see them gathering all weekend for the rest diagram your life.)
How to deal trappings Korean girlfriend problems?
Most problems utilize from insecurity caused by social differences. Western dating customs sanction for a lot more democracy than dating culture in Choson.
Calling and texting every day, making most of the decisions and escorting your girlfriend hurt the subway is viewed likewise smothering, whereas in Korea, it’s seen as basic and dazzling.
Korean relationships are a select by ballot more tight-knit with a inadequately of contact and sharing. Paying attention need to explain a pattern of the differences and likely make some adjustments. If it’s too much to handle, it’s best to move on.
How compulsion Koreans view international couples?
It depends on the person. Most inclination see them as a newness and some will either background down on or envy them. That being said, younger be sociable are more open to dating non-Koreans or supportive when their friends date or marry them.
On the other hand, wearying old people on the organism may stare, but you receptacle ignore this.
Did we miss anything?
Let us know your thoughts foregoing questions about Korean dating elegance in the comments!